The shadow proves the light...

Wow...my last blog was really a long time ago. Why I am returning now, I couldnt tell ya. I just needed a way to get some things out of my head in hopes that reading them will allow me to process them more quickly. I have a great pain in my chest. Not really a physical pain, but it has gotten to the point where it almost feels physical. However, if not for this pain I would have to say that I would feel completely empty inside. I have no real reason to feel like this, yet I can't shake it....

"after all falls apart....he repairs, he repairs...for the glory of it all..."

Whenevr I say prayers, especially "group" prayers, I always make reference to this idea of bringing glory to God through whatever it is that I/we are about to take part in after the prayer reaches it's conclusion. And I think its a fair request, I mean I'm told in the Bible that everything should be done for the Glory of God right? So it seems like a novel prayer, one that is full of good intent. But what happens during times like now when I feel that no matter how I pray that prayer, no matter how many different ways I can think of stating that same idea no glory is being reflected. Everyone knows that our moon really doesn't glow. and if you didn't know that, then I'm sorry to have to break it to you like this. Our moon has the appearance of a glow b/c it reflects the light of the sun. W/o the sun the moon would be a cold, hard, dusty, piece of space junk. And there are times, when the moon sinks into the shadow of the earth, where now light is reflected at all. When all light it is supposed to reflect is absorb by the world. I feel like the moon right now. I feel as though I have lost the ability to reflect the light of the Son b/c I have unwilling sunk into the shadow of the world. No glory of anything bigger than myself is being reflected, leaving only an outline that is barely noticable. Gosh this sounds so depressing. I wasn't made for this. I know what I am called to do and, more importantly, I know how to do it. I just need to let God lift me back into the light....I just need to give up.