Whos now? and forever?

I'm a big fan of ESPN. I probably spend way too much time watching it and waiting to see highlights of my favorite Cleveland teams even after I just spent the last 3 hours watching their games live. Like today Kelly Shoppach struck out three times and then proceeded to snap his bat over his knee...I knew as soon as he did it that I was staying up till 12 to see that again. However....as much as I enjoy watching ESPN they are now becoming somewhat of a parody of themselves. Take for instance their newest creation, the "Who's Now" segment they are running during Sportscenter everyday. This is a new bracket-style tournament with the goal of naming the professional athlete who has the most onfield success while creating the most off-field buzz (They had to throw the onfield part in there...if it was siimply a matter of buzz then there is NO way that anyone would be able to top the buzz of the David Crowder concert at Mars Hill...) They actually created a bracket and seeding system where the brackets are named after past athletes (ie...The Jordan Bracket, Ali, etc...) Then each night they actually have people on air that argue about which athlete in a respective matchup should move on. The more I sit here and think about this concept the more I see how lame it is. In a world full of problems and major issues a tournament has been devised that celebrates the athletes that best personify eveything that is listed as "fleeting" and "meaningless" in ecclesiastes....

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
(Ecc. 2:10-11)

I wonder if when the lights on the sportscenter set turn off, the people who just spent the past 15 minutes of their lives arguing which athlete deserves the title of "Who's now" sit back and wonder what was the point of what they just did (i find it ironic that two of the guys, kirk herbstreit and Keyshawn Johnson, are nothing more than a couple of has beens. I wonder if the athletes really even care...

when I die I want to be able to look God in the eye knowing that I lived for more than just "Now". That the things I accomplished had a greater meaning and that I worshipped a God who is not bound by the here and now but rather exists everywhere in between the beginning and the end. God help us all...

The shadow proves the light...

Wow...my last blog was really a long time ago. Why I am returning now, I couldnt tell ya. I just needed a way to get some things out of my head in hopes that reading them will allow me to process them more quickly. I have a great pain in my chest. Not really a physical pain, but it has gotten to the point where it almost feels physical. However, if not for this pain I would have to say that I would feel completely empty inside. I have no real reason to feel like this, yet I can't shake it....

"after all falls apart....he repairs, he repairs...for the glory of it all..."

Whenevr I say prayers, especially "group" prayers, I always make reference to this idea of bringing glory to God through whatever it is that I/we are about to take part in after the prayer reaches it's conclusion. And I think its a fair request, I mean I'm told in the Bible that everything should be done for the Glory of God right? So it seems like a novel prayer, one that is full of good intent. But what happens during times like now when I feel that no matter how I pray that prayer, no matter how many different ways I can think of stating that same idea no glory is being reflected. Everyone knows that our moon really doesn't glow. and if you didn't know that, then I'm sorry to have to break it to you like this. Our moon has the appearance of a glow b/c it reflects the light of the sun. W/o the sun the moon would be a cold, hard, dusty, piece of space junk. And there are times, when the moon sinks into the shadow of the earth, where now light is reflected at all. When all light it is supposed to reflect is absorb by the world. I feel like the moon right now. I feel as though I have lost the ability to reflect the light of the Son b/c I have unwilling sunk into the shadow of the world. No glory of anything bigger than myself is being reflected, leaving only an outline that is barely noticable. Gosh this sounds so depressing. I wasn't made for this. I know what I am called to do and, more importantly, I know how to do it. I just need to let God lift me back into the light....I just need to give up.