Some thoughts on thoughts

Deep Thoughts...I don't allow my mind to think deeply very often. It takes too much effort and there are just so many hours in a day... and I'm not particulary fond of people who always try to have "the deep thought" of the conversation. Those kind of people arent thinking deeply for anything more than attention. But anyways, I only say this because the other night when I was at home I found myself lying in bed with my chest hurting and my mind sinking to the depths I dont usually like to visit. I was thinking about grad school and how burnt out I feel. Before I left for YSU my dad told me one thing....to be the best...and in my respective department I did well enough to have my name included among the best. I was happy with my accomplishment, I worked for 4 years to reach that point. I felt it meant something. Now 6 months laterI find myself among a bunch of other people who were considered "the best" also and among profs who have no idea who I am or what I did. The worst part is that for some reason I can't find the motivation to reignite whatever it was that pushed me the last time. Simply put...I'm just not hitting on all cylinders right now. And I need to be...quickly. I know everything I do is a reflection of not only me, but also of the people who put time into me and most of all God. I need a lifestyle change. I've grown too comfortable. at least these are thoughts that came to me now and not at the end of November.

Today I saw a squirrel run across Howard. I haven't kept much of a mental diary, but I think everytime I have seen a squirrel run across a busy road it seems as though they all stop immediately on the other side and just kind chill there in this kind of "Holy Sh** I almost died" sorta stance as they try to catch their breath. I have no thoughs to accompany this, I just thought it was kinda funny and I will always wonder what was on the other side of the road that causes a squirrel to risk so much.

I went home to Cleveland this weekend. It was only like my 11th day at home in the past 5 months. I got to spend some good time hanging out with my parents as they celebrated my bday a little early with me. We went to dinner and saw "Flags of our Fathers", which wasn't the best war movie I have ever scene, but it was still well done with some very realistic war scenes. I recommend it. I also came back to K-zoo with a new iPod. Its freakin sweet. My parents helped me get it for my b-day since my old mp3 player was stolen in "the great car heist '06". So I think that now each time I make a blog I will include a "what's on my iPod section"

What's on my iPod?
Sam's Town by The Killers
See the Morning by Chris Tomlin
-I recommend both

My new blog...

Sooooooo I've attempted to make some blogs before (www.xanga.com/jayd5)...and after a long hiatus I have decided to return. Having entered the life of a grad student I have found my mind flooded with new thoughts and rants that I wish I could just get out of me sometimes. So perhaps this will provided a place for me to release or to pass on bits of wisdom...or none of the above. Perhaps I will go strong for a week or a month before I get bored and just stop. I really dont know. I hope it goes on for a while. I hope it helps me sort some things out in my head. Anyways...thats all.